Tracey's Diary
by Ilex the Elder
Summary: Tracey's account of his first few days as Professor Oak's lab assistant - a Heroworshipping/Eldershipping tale.
1. Chapter 1

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Author's note: I modified the story line from "A Tent Situation" slightly for this fic – hope you don't mind my taking creative liberties with it!

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Journal entry - I can't believe I'm finally going to meet Professor Oak today! I'm so excited that I don't think I slept at all last night. Ever since I hooked up with Ash and Misty, this is what I've been dreaming about for months. 

"Mmmm! Mom, you make the best deep dish chili cheese dog pizza pot pie!" Ash Ketchum said as he wolfed down his third helping.

"Oh thanks, honey, but I can't take the credit. Brock made it," she said, indicating the young man in an apron standing next to the stove.

"Eat up, guys," Brock said as he pulled another pot pie out of the oven. "There's plenty more where that came from."

"Aren't you going to eat anything, Tracey?" Misty asked the other young man sitting at the kitchen table in the Ketchum house.

"I can't eat," Tracey replied anxiously. "Just knowing that in a few minutes I'll actually be meeting Professor Oak…that I'll finally be meeting my idol face-to-face…that I'll…" Tracey suddenly looked ill. "'Scuse me." Tracey clapped his hand over his mouth and ran for the bathroom.

"Is Tracey sick?" Delia asked with some concern as Tracey bolted down the hall.

"No, he's just excited about meeting Professor Oak today," Misty told her as she fed Togepi a bite of her pot pie. "Ever since we started traveling together, that's all he's been talking about."

"Sounds like Tracey's a big fan of Professor Oak," Brock smiled as he placed another piping hot pastry on the table.

"I'll say," Ash agreed in between bites. "But I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, Professor Oak's a nice guy and all…"

"That's because you've known him all your life," Delia smiled as she poured her son a glass of milk. "To you, he's your next-door neighbor. But Professor Oak is a very important figure in the world of Pokémon research. He's quite famous outside of Pallet Town. He's a very smart, talented, handsome man."

At the mention of the word "handsome", a surprised Brock and Misty turned around to look at Mrs. Ketchum, who was blushing.

"Uh, I meant that Professor Oak is a very well-known Pokémon scientist," Delia said hastily. "More milk, anyone?"

A very pale-looking Tracey came back into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"Feeling better, dear?" Delia asked as she poured him a glass of milk.

"Tracey, that's the third time you've thrown up since we got back to Pallet Town," Misty commented as she caught sight of her nauseated-looking friend's face.

"I know, but I'm so excited about getting to meet Professor Oak in person," Tracey said shakily as he sipped his milk.

"Speaking of which," Ash said as he looked at his watch. "We'd better get over there. We told him that we'd be over there by two."

---

"Tracey, did you have to bring every sketchbook you ever did?" Ash asked as he watched his friend struggle up the steps leading to Professor Oak's hilltop lab.

"I couldn't decide which ones I wanted to show Professor Oak, so I thought I'd play it safe and bring all of them," Tracey puffed as he tried to keep the stack of sketchbooks in his hands from toppling over.

As Misty rang the doorbell, the three friends heard a voice from inside the hallway yell, "Aaugh!"

"Uh-oh, bet I know what that is," Ash said as he pushed open the door and saw Professor Oak lying underneath Muk.

"Muk!" said the giant sludge Pokémon happily as it caught sight of its old trainer and advanced on Ash with open arms.

"Muk, no! Stay away from…" Ash then was knocked to the ground as Muk embraced him heartily.

"Looks like Muk's happy to see you again, Ash," Misty grinned as Ash disappeared underneath the sludgy Pokémon's bulk.

"Yes, I was just cleaning Muk and I was trying to towel him off before he started tracking water all over the house," Professor Oak said as he got to his feet and tried to wipe the sludge off of his lab coat.

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Oh my God, he's really real! Tracey thought at his first glance of the man he had idolized for years. He had been trying to make a brief sketch of Professor Oak underneath Muk so he would have a memento of his very first meeting with the world-famous scientist, but his hands were shaking so much now that he couldn't continue drawing.

"All right, Muk, get off of Ash and go outside now," Professor Oak ordered as he tried to pull the loving Pokémon off of the struggling boy. "I'll be out to feed you later."

"Whew, thanks, Professor," Ash said as Muk gave him one last slimy kiss then headed outside.

"It's good to see you all again," Professor Oak said as he helped Ash to his feet. 

"Yeah, it's great to be back in Pallet Town again, Professor Oak," Ash said as he straightened his baseball cap and the little group followed Professor Oak into the adjacent living room.

"Pikachu's looking well," Professor Oak grinned as he scratched the little yellow Pokémon's head. "And Togepi looks pretty happy too, Misty."

"Togei!" the baby Pokémon chirruped happily as Professor Oak patted its head.

"And it's nice to finally meet you in person, Tracey," Professor Oak smiled as he held out his hand. "Although I've heard so much about you from Ash that I feel like I know you already."

"You're real! You're really real!" Tracey gaped as he held out his violently shaking hand. The moment Professor Oak's hand touched his, Tracey fell over in a dead faint.

--- 

"Tracey?"

"I think he's still breathing."

"Hey, Trace? You okay?"

"Stand back, everyone. Let the boy get some air. I think he's coming around now."

Tracey's eyelids fluttered open and Professor Oak's face slowly came into focus.

__

Am I in heaven? Tracey thought as he blinked in disbelief.

"How do you feel, son?" Professor Oak asked kindly. "Do you think you can sit up?"

Tracey, overwhelmed at being in such close proximity to his idol, opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. 

As Misty, Brock, and Ash helped Tracey into a sitting position, Professor Oak stood up. "Why don't I go get you a cup of tea? I think you'll feel better once you have something in your stomach." 

As he disappeared down the hall, Tracey turned to his friends. "What happened? What did I miss while I was out? Did Professor Oak say or do anything?"

"I hate to disappoint you, Tracey, but the only thing Professor Oak did while you were out was check your pulse to make sure you were still alive," Misty informed him.

But even this news was enough to send Tracey into hysterics.

"He checked my pulse? The man who successfully diagnosed the first case of Pokémon influenza ever recorded in a Sandshrew actually examined _me_? He actually touched my wrist with his own hand?"

"Tracey, are you sure you're feeling okay?" Misty asked as she gave her friend a funny look.

"Yeah, are you sure you didn't hit your head or something when you fell?" Ash asked. 

"Here you go. A nice cup of tea should make you feel better, Tracey," Professor Oak said as he came back into the room.

Tracey eagerly stuck out his arm. "Could you check my pulse again, Professor? I missed it the first time you did it."

Professor Oak gave Tracey a funny look, not unlike the one Misty had given him a moment ago. "Well, there's no need for that now since you're awake. Why don't you just drink your tea?" he said as he handed the cup of hot tea to Tracey and sat down on the couch. "Well, Ash, when we last talked, you were telling me about the little Lapras that you and your friends traveled with in the Orange Islands."

"Yeah, Lapras finally met up with his family and went off with them," Ash said as he nibbled on the plate of cookies that Professor Oak had also brought.

"I'm going to miss Lapras," Misty said wistfully. "But Tracey did some really great sketches of it."

"Really?" said Professor Oak, impressed. "I'd like to see your sketches sometime, Tracey."

Upon hearing the words that he had been hoping to hear for months, Tracey swallowed the wrong way and started choking on his tea. 

"Hey, Tracey, are you all right?" Ash asked as Misty started pounding on Tracey's back.

"Are you sure you're feeling all right, son?" Professor Oak asked as Tracey gasped for breath.

"I'm…I'm…" Tracey sputtered as he got his breath back. 

"Why don't you show Professor Oak all the cool drawings you did while we were in the Orange Islands?" Ash suggested. 

Tracey, who was too stunned to speak, picked up his sketchbooks and, with trembling hands, handed them to Professor Oak.

"Oh my, you're a very talented artist, Tracey," Professor Oak said admiringly as he started examining the drawings in the first sketchbook. "I especially like this one you did of the crystal Onix. I would love to study this Pokémon." After responding to Brock's comment on his thoughts of the quality of Tracey's drawings, Professor Oak continued looking through the sketchbook and smiled. "And I see that not only Brock is fond of Nurse Joy."

"Oh yeah, that's the Nurse Joy we met who travels to all the small islands in her kayak," Ash told Professor Oak.

"Nurse Joy?" Brock exclaimed. "Let me see!" He peered over Professor Oak's shoulder to get a better look at Tracey's sketch. "Oh yeah, that's Nurse Joy, all right!" Brock smiled as he started blushing and a goofy expression appeared on his face.

"Well, looks like Brock hasn't changed since we've been gone," Ash said as Brock began drooling over Tracey's accurate depiction of the object of his fantasies.

"I believe you called her the 'Florence Nightingale of Pokémon', didn't you, Tracey?" Misty teased.

Tracey didn't respond. He was too busy staring at Professor Oak with an anxious expression on his face.

"What's wrong with Tracey?" Misty whispered to Ash.

"Dunno. He looks kind of sick again. I hope he doesn't throw up on Professor Oak," Ash whispered back.

"Well, Tracey," Professor Oak said as he finished examining the sketchbook and then put it down on the coffee table (and then Brock picked it up to see if he could find the drawing of Nurse Joy again), "You certainly are a very observant Pokémon watcher. If you don't mind, I'd like to keep your drawings for a little while so I can study them."

"You…you want to study my drawings?" Tracey stammered in shocked disbelief. 

"Yes, Tracey," Professor Oak smiled at the stunned-looking boy. "Do you have any more of them?"

Tracey picked up the pile of sketchbooks sitting next to him and handed them to Professor Oak. 

"I did all of these in the Orange Islands, but some of these are ones I did since we got back to Pallet Town," Tracey babbled eagerly as he started showing Professor Oak his entire collection of sketches.

"Come on, Misty," Ash sighed as he stood up and headed for the door. "Looks like Tracey's gonna be keeping Professor Oak busy for a while."

For the next hour, Tracey told Professor Oak in excruciating detail everything about every sketch he had done while the older man listened politely. 

"Tracey, I have an idea," Professor Oak said as he put down the fifth sketchbook and stood up. "Would you like a tour of my lab? That would give us a chance to take a little break and stretch our legs a bit."

Tracey gasped in astonishment. "Oh my…I actually get to see where you perform your research? I get to see the place where you did your study on the adaptation of the respiratory system of Goldeen to various water depths and temperatures?"

"Well, yes, Tracey," Professor Oak replied, somewhat amazed at Tracey's knowledge of his research. "Although I'm surprised that you're familiar with that study. That's one of my earlier research papers."

"Oh, I'm _very_ familiar with your research, Professor," Tracey babbled excitedly as he followed Professor Oak down the hallway to the lab. "I've read every paper you've ever published!"

"Well, uh, that's very nice of you, Tracey," said Professor Oak, somewhat embarrassed at Tracey's excessive adulation. "Anyway, here's the lab."

Tracey's jaw dropped open at the sight of the huge, high-ceilinged lab filled with computers and machines.

"Professor, this place is huge! It's even larger that I ever dreamed!"

"You _dreamed _about my lab?" a surprised Professor Oak replied with an odd look in Tracey's direction.

Tracey's face turned bright red. "Uh…what I meant was, that this place is so big. I bet you must have hundreds of lab assistants to help you out."

"Actually, Tracey, right now I don't have any assistants to help me out. I've been in the market for one for quite some time. You don't know anyone who might be willing to help me with my research, do you?" Professor Oak grinned at the star-struck youth.

"Oh, Professor…I…I…" Tracey's mouth fell open at the realization that his long-held fantasy was on the verge of finally coming true. 

"Tracey, would _you_ be interested in the job?" Professor Oak asked. "Would you like to be my research assistant, seeing that you're already quite familiar with my work?"

Tracey squealed excitedly and jumped straight into the air. "Oh yes, Professor Oak! Yes! I want to be your helper more than anything in the whole wide world!" Tracey started to hyperventilate. "Oh my God, I can't believe it! I'm finally going to be working with the great Professor Oak! This is a dream come true!"

"Uh, Tracey, why don't you calm down for a moment?" Professor Oak advised. "I think you're getting a little too worked up..."

Tracey, sent over the moon by his dream coming true, didn't hear a word his new boss had said. "I'm gonna be Professor Oak's lab assistant!" Tracey ran up and down the lab, telling any Pokémon who would listen that he was going to be Professor Oak's new research assistant. 

"Tracey, why don't you sit down and try to calm down for a second?" Professor Oak said as he watched Tracey race through the lab. "I know you're excited about this, but you're going to hurt yourself if you don't…"

"I'm gonna be Professor Oak's new lab assistant!" Tracey eagerly informed the Seadra floating in the water tank in the far corner of the lab. Seadra, who was none too happy at being awakened from its nap by a near-hysterical stranger, shot a blast of water in Tracey's face.

"Tracey, I should have warned you," Professor Oak said, trying hard to suppress a giggle, "That Seadra in particular doesn't like having its naps disturbed. But you'll learn about him and all the other Pokémon in this lab." He handed the waterlogged Tracey a towel. "Why don't you go get cleaned up and we can talk about your new duties as my assistant later?"


	2. Chapter 2

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I don't think I've ever been this happy…to work with the man who's like a god – okay, the god -- of the Pokémon world…it's unreal. I'm still pinching myself to see if it's true.

Actually, Kingler was busy pinching Tracey as he sat in the living room of the Oak house writing in his journal. 

"Ow!" Tracey yelped as he leapt off of the couch and rubbed his bruised arm.

"Sorry, I should've warned you about Kingler," Professor Oak smiled as he came into the room. "He's a very friendly Pokémon. Always trying to get you to pay attention to him, isn't that right?"

"Kookie-kookie," smiled Kingler as it went over to Professor Oak and started nuzzling his leg.

"Kingler's just one of the hundreds of Pokémon you'll get to know during your tenure here, Tracey," Professor Oak said as he patted the giant crab-type Pokémon's head. 

"I'm ready to get started, Professor!" Tracey said eagerly as he hopped off of the couch and stuffed his journal into his backpack. "What do you want me to do first? Feed Kingler? Help you with your research? Give the Pokémon a bath? You name it, I'll do it!"

"Actually, Tracey," Professor Oak told his overzealous new assistant, "I was going to show you where you'll be living while you're here."

"Oh, okay," Tracey said as he gathered up his things. As he followed his mentor up the stairs, Tracey kept looking around at all the Pokémon that were scuttling down the hall, peeking out of doorways, hanging from the…

"Yahh!" Tracey yelled as he ducked out of the way of a small brown bird that was flying at top speed down the hall.

"Oh, that's just Pidgey," Professor Oak said nonchalantly as he opened the door to one of the bedrooms. "Tracey, this is where you'll be staying."

Tracey eagerly peered around his boss's shoulder and then his smile froze when he saw that his new bedroom was completely taken over by Pokémon of every shape and size.

"Oh, look at this!" Professor Oak said enthusiastically as he motioned for Tracey to follow him. "Nidorina has had her babies!" He pointed to the blue Pokémon huddled in the middle of Tracey's bed, then picked up the several squirming little Nidorans huddled next to their mother. "Two females, two males. A nice even litter, right, Nidorina?" Professor Oak grinned as he patted the new mother's head. "Well, I'll have to find you new sheets for your bed, Tracey."

"Oh, that's okay, Professor," said Tracey as he put down his backpack and jumped as the Ekans coiled up in the chair hissed in protest at nearly being squashed by Tracey's belongings.

"Ekans, you're going to have to find another place to sun yourself," Professor Oak told the Pokémon as he evicted it from the chair. "Tracey, you might want to check under the bed and especially under your blanket before you go to sleep to make sure no one's hiding under there. Sometimes you don't know what or who you'll find."

Tracey's eyes widened.

After shooing out the Venomoth that was munching on some old clothes in the closet, Professor Oak indicated that Tracey should put his belongings in there. 

"Well, I'll let you get settled," Professor Oak told his new associate. "Then come downstairs and we'll have some dinner."

As soon as Professor Oak had left, Tracey heard a splashing in the bathroom and decided to investigate. 

"Poli!" the little purple Pokémon said happily as Tracey cautiously peered around the door and discovered a pair of Poliwags playing in the toilet.

--- 

"Did you get settled in all right?" Professor Oak asked as Tracey came downstairs into the kitchen.

"Except for a Rattata chewing up part of my backpack, I think I got everything put away," Tracey replied as he sat down at the table in the spacious kitchen. 

"Let's have something special to celebrate your first day as my new assistant," Professor Oak said as he opened one of the kitchen cabinets. "Would you rather have spaghetti rings or pasta stars?" 

Tracey blinked in surprise. He thought that in a house this huge that Professor Oak would've eaten stuff like filet mignon every night or at least had a cook or something.

"Um, Professor, forgive me for asking, but do you always eat like this?" Tracey asked his boss as he started running the can opener. 

"Well, sometimes I'll have a can of soup or maybe beans once in a while," Professor Oak replied as he plopped the contents of the can into a bowl and put the bowl into the microwave. "But sometimes Delia will take pity on me and bring over something like lasagna or meat loaf or something like that."

"Delia?" Tracey asked. "Who's that?"

"Oh, Delia is Mrs. Ketchum. Ash's mother."

"When does Mrs. Ketchum usually bring over stuff to eat?" Tracey asked as Professor Oak placed an unappetizing glutinous mass of undercooked pasta stars in front of him.

"A couple of times a week," Professor Oak chuckled as he put his bowl of spaghetti rings into the microwave. "For some reason, she has the impression that I'm not a very good cook."

Tracey took a bite of the pasta stars and nearly gagged. They were still cold. During his conversation with Tracey, Professor Oak had forgotten to turn on the microwave.

--- 

Later that evening, Tracey had just finished taking a shower (after first shooing out a Squirtle that was hiding in it) and was getting ready for bed. 

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I can't believe that I'm actually going to be sharing a bathroom with one of the greatest minds in the history of Pokémon research, he thought giddily as he picked up a worn-out red toothbrush lying on the countertop. 

__

Oh my God. I'm actually touching Professor Oak's toothbrush!

The awe-struck Tracey then took the time to reverently examine every item in the bathroom that belonged to Professor Oak, including his shaving cream, razor, toothpaste, and hairbrush. It was like being in a shrine with all of the objects belonging to the man he worshiped on display. Tracey then bent over and picked up a brush lying next to the toilet.

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Oh my God! It's Professor Oak's toilet brush! I'm actually holding the brush Professor Oak uses to clean his…

A knock at the door made him quickly drop the brush. He opened the door and there stood the object of Tracey's admiration.

"Tracey, I wanted to remind you that breakfast tomorrow is at seven-thirty."

"Oh, I won't forget, Professor. And thank you again for hiring me as your assistant," Tracey smiled.

"Glad to have you aboard, Tracey. Well, good night, then."

"Good night, Professor," Tracey called as Professor Oak went into the adjacent bedroom.

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I can't believe I'm actually going to be sleeping in the bedroom next to one of the greatest Poké_mon researchers that ever lived, _Tracey thought excitedly as he went into the other bedroom that connected to the bathroom. 

Remembering Professor Oak's warning from earlier, Tracey carefully peered under the bedsheets to make certain no Pokémon were hiding underneath. He then peeked under the bed. "Anybody there?"

"Oddish?" the Pokémon dozing under the bed replied sleepily.

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Well, I guess there's no harm in letting Oddish sleep under the bed tonight, Tracey thought as he got into bed and pulled the sheets around his chin. 

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Tracey, you've come a long way from the Orange Islands, he thought as he stared out the window that overlooked the grounds of the Oak estate. _For years all you've dreamed about was meeting the great Professor Oak and now you're working and living in the same house with him. _

This really is a dream come true, Tracey thought happily as he turned out the light and closed his eyes. As he was dozing off into a blissful slumber, a loud "SNORRXXX" jarred him wide awake.

"What th'? What in the world was that?" Tracey exclaimed as he shot straight up. He then peeked under the bed. "Oddish, was that you?"

"Odd", the Pokémon replied drowsily as it shook its head.

Then another earth-shaking "SNORRRXXXX" rattled the pictures in their frames. Tracey slipped out of bed, opened the door, and peeked down the hallway to investigate the source of the mysterious noise. 

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It's coming from Professor Oak's room, Tracey said to himself as another "SNORRXXX" blasted through the hall. _Wonder if there's a Snorlax is sleeping in there?_

Tracey carefully opened the door and discovered that the loud snoring sound wasn't coming from a Snorlax but from Professor Oak himself. He was sound asleep, mouth wide open, and snoring so loudly that the Nidoran that had been curled up on Professor Oak's bed fled in terror as soon as Tracey opened the door. 

For the rest of the night, Tracey tried multiple ways to block out the deafening sound emanating from the adjacent room, but finally ended up falling into an exhausted sleep with his head buried under his pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**__**

This morning, I saw a side of Professor Oak that I'd never dreamed of.

Three hours after Tracey dozed off, a loud crowing sound outside his window made him jump straight into the air. "What in the…?" Tracey gasped as he tried to calm his pounding heart. He looked outside the window and saw a Dodrio perched on the limb of the tree next to the window.

"Cawwwwwww!" Dodrio crowed again as the sun started to peek over the horizon.

Tracey looked at the clock. Six fifty-seven. 

__

Might as well get up, he thought as he stumbled out of bed and nearly tripped over Oddish.

Even though he was dead tired from getting only three hours of sleep, Tracey began to perk up as soon as he went downstairs and got himself a glass of juice. Wanting to be helpful, Tracey poured his mentor a glass of orange juice and was getting ready to place it on the kitchen table when a scuffling sound made him turn around.

"Morning, Tracey," Professor Oak yawned as he came shuffling into the kitchen.

Tracey turned and nearly dropped the glass of juice on the floor. An unshaven, disheveled Professor Oak, clad only in a bathrobe that looked like a Pokémon had thrown up on and a pair of polka-dotted boxer shorts that had seen better days, opened the cabinet above the sink.

"Do you want cherry or blueberry Pop Tarts, Tracey?" Professor Oak asked as he rumpled his hair (which was sticking out in all directions) and scratched himself absentmindedly.

Tracey didn't answer. He was still in shock from seeing his mentor like this. This couldn't be the same man whose polished, confident image graced the covers of all the books in Tracey's collection. This couldn't be the same suave, self-assured, brilliant scientist whose discoveries were renown throughout the world of Pokémon research. 

"Burrpppp."

Tracey dropped the glass of juice. As its contents spilled all over the kitchen floor, a Caterpie waiting underneath the table dashed out and began lapping up the orange juice happily.

"Oh, 'scuse me, Tracey," Professor Oak apologized at the sight of the horrified expression on his young aide's face. "Must've been the spaghetti rings I had last night. Sometimes the tomato sauce gives me indigestion," he said as he reached for a bottle of antacid tablets in the drawer underneath the cabinet. "Which reminds me…I wouldn't go into the bathroom for a little while if I were you."

Tracey sank down in a chair at the kitchen table and buried his head in his hands, traumatized by the idealized image of the man he had idolized for years having been permanently shattered.

A knock at the kitchen door caused Tracey to raise his head. Jumping up to get the door, he found a pretty auburn-haired woman holding a basket standing on the back porch.

"Hello, Tracey," smiled Delia as she came into the kitchen. "I got up early to do some baking and brought over some treats for the two of you." 

"Good morning, Delia," Professor Oak smiled in her direction. "What's in the basket?"

Tracey's mouth dropped open in horror. He would've thought that Professor Oak would've at least made an effort to cover himself with his bathrobe, but he hadn't. Tracey thought that if a woman saw him in nothing but a ratty pair of underwear and looking like he had fallen out of bed, he would've died of embarrassment. But Professor Oak didn't seem to care. Even more surprising to Tracey was the fact that Mrs. Ketchum didn't seem fazed at the sight of a scruffy-looking, half-naked Professor Oak.

"I brought over some banana nut muffins for you," Delia announced as she uncovered her basket and handed one to Professor Oak. "And Tracey, you get two because you're still a growing boy," she said as she handed them to him.

"Thanks, Mrs. Ketchum," Tracey said as he hungrily stuffed one in his mouth. "These are great."

"Glad you like them," she beamed at the compliment. "Unfortunately, I can't stay long because I've got another batch of muffins in the oven, but I thought you'd like to have some while they were still warm. I'll see you later."

"Thanks again, Delia," Professor Oak called out to her as she headed out the door. 

"Mrs. Ketchum sure is nice," Tracey said as he inhaled his second banana nut muffin. "And she has great muffins."

"She certainly does," Professor Oak said dreamily as he continued to stare out the back door. "Um…I mean…well, Tracey, are you ready to get started?"

"I'm ready to help you in any way I can, Professor," said Tracey excitedly as he leapt up from the table.

"Glad to hear it," smiled Professor Oak as he handed Tracey a pair of gloves and a scoop. "It's good to see a young man with such enthusiasm."

"Uh, what's this for, Professor?" Tracey asked curiously as Professor Oak then handed him a shovel.

"Your first duty as my new assistant is cleaning up after the Pokémon," Professor Oak informed him.

Tracey's eager smile faded. "Uh, I thought that research assistants helped with research."

"All in good time. However, at my lab I insist that all my research assistants work their way up from the bottom," Professor Oak smiled, rather pleased at his pun. "That way, you'll get to know the Pokémon and they'll get used to having you around. Here you go." He then handed Tracey a large garbage bag.

---

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This isn't exactly how I envisioned working at Professor Oak's lab, Tracey thought as he bent over and scooped up yet another mound of Ponyta manure from the stables on the grounds of the Pokémon preserve. He had been hard at work scooping up droppings from various types of Pokémon for several hours and he even felt like a mound of manure – hot and smelly. 

"Ah, there you are, Tracey," a shaven, fully-dressed Professor Oak smiled as he came wandering into the stables. "How are things going?"

"Oh, fine, sir," Tracey said as he plopped yet another Ponyta pile into the nearby garbage can.

"Tracey, I need your help with something," Professor Oak asked.

__

Professor Oak's asking** me** for help? Me? thought Tracey excitedly as he dropped his shovel. _Oh my God, I think I'm going to die right now!_

"Tracey, how familiar are you with Bulbasaurs?"

"Oh, I'm _very_ familiar with Bulbasaurs, Professor," Tracey babbled eagerly. "I spent a lot of time with Ash's Bulbasaur when we were in the Orange Islands. I've also read your research paper on your theory as to the origin of Bulbasaurs – which I thought was some of your best work, by the way-- and how you thought that they were descended from reptilian-type Pokémon such as…"

"Yes, yes, that's very nice, Tracey," Professor Oak cut off his fawning assistant. "But I need your help with one Bulbasaur in particular." He pointed to a Pokémon roaming through one of the fields in the adjacent grass-type Pokémon preserve. "That one. That Bulbasaur has a chronic eye infection. I've been trying all morning to capture him so I can examine him and give him some medication. But the problem is that Bulbasaur is a wily old one and knows all my tricks. He won't let me get near him because he knows that he's going to end up on my examination table, and he absolutely hates it. But since he doesn't know you, I'm hoping that perhaps he'll be more willing to come with you."

"You can count on me, Professor!" Tracey said as he hopped over the fence and approached the recalcitrant Pokémon.

"Bulba?" the Pokémon said warily as it turned to face the young stranger that was trying to sneak up behind him.

"Hi, Bulbasaur," Tracey cooed as he drew near it. "You're a nice Bulbasaur, aren't you? Why don't you come along with me?"

"Bulba!" the Pokemon snarled as two thick vines shot out from the bulb on its back and it began buffeting the unfortunate Tracey with a Vine Whip attack.

"Ow! Bulba…ow!" Tracey yelped as the vines struck him repeatedly on the head, arms, and legs. "Wait, Bulba…ow!"

"Bulbasaur!" the Pokémon cried as it continued its assault. Finally, it drew back one vine and let it fly as hard as it could.

Tracey went sailing across the field and landed in a pile of Bulbasaur manure.

--- 

"Looks like there's some irritation, a few broken blood vessels," Professor Oak said as he examined his patient's eye. "But there's no damage to the retina."

"Thanks, Professor," Tracey said as picked up an ice pack and placed it on the eye that had been blackened by Bulbasaur's Vine Whip attack. "I didn't know you treated people as well as Pokémon."

"Well, as you've just found out," Professor Oak said as he put down his ophthalmoscope, "that whenever you work around wild Pokémon, there's always potential for injury. That's why it's important to have a thorough knowledge of first aid for humans as well as Pokémon."

"Have you ever been injured when you've been working around Pokémon, Professor?" Tracey asked as he slid off of the Pokémon examination table.

"Numerous times, my boy," Professor Oak smiled as he started putting away his medical instruments. "I've been kicked in the ribs by a Rapidash, had two of my toes broken when Snorlax stepped on them, suffered a concussion when I got whacked in the head by Cubone's Bonemerang attack…" He bent over in front of Tracey and parted his graying hair to reveal a series of scars. "…had numerous stitches in my scalp from when a Spearow landed on my head and dug its talons into it, and…" He lifted up his right pants leg to reveal a six-inch long scar on his shin. "That was from where Sandslash got a little too wild with its claws one day."

Tracey gasped. "My gosh, Professor! All that's happened to you during your career?"

"During my _career_?" Professor Oak exclaimed in amazement. "These all occurred during the past _year_! That's why I'm so glad to have an assistant around again." He rolled down his pants leg. "Tracey, I'm fifty-two years old. Although I like to think I'm in pretty good shape compared to most men my age, I'm just not as young or as agile as I used to be. It's much easier for you to hop over a fence to get away from a herd of stampeding Tauros that it is for me. Not to mention that I don't heal as fast as you young people do. Take that shiner of yours, for example. In a couple of days, that'll be completely healed." Professor Oak looked at the clock on the wall. "Well, it's getting late, so you'd better get back outside and….oh, hello, Delia," Professor Oak smiled at the attractive woman who had just come into the lab.

"Oh my goodness! Tracey, what in the world happened to your eye?" Delia exclaimed at the sight of Tracey's ice pack.

"Bulbasaur got a little wild with its Vine Whip," Professor Oak informed her. "Although it was my fault entirely. I shouldn't have asked Tracey to go after a strange Pokémon that didn't know him."

"Does it hurt much?" Delia asked as she lifted the ice pack off of the boy's injured eye and examined it.

"Not too much," Tracey told her. "Professor Oak took a look at it already. I didn't realize that he was so good at treating people as well as Pokémon."

"Yes, I know all about that," Delia smiled. "Once when I was sick, he came over to my house and gave me a complete physical."

Professor Oak's face had suddenly gone bright red. "Uh…well, that was an exceptional case. Delia wasn't feeling well and her regular doctor was out on a call. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time and thought I'd help her out."

"You know, Professor, I haven't had a physical in a while," said Tracey. "Maybe you could…"

"Uh, Tracey, why don't you head back outside now and finish up with the Pokémon?" Professor Oak said quickly as he tossed Tracey back his scoop and rubber gloves.

--- 

That night, it took Tracey two showers to get to the point where he didn't smell like a pile of manure anymore. 

"Whew, I'm beat, Marill," Tracey told his little blue Pokémon as he plopped on his bed. "I didn't realize there were so many Pokémon here. And I also didn't realize that they all pooped so much. I'm gonna sleep well tonight." After checking under the bed (Venonat was already snoozing there), Tracey turned out the light and pulled the blankets over his head. As Tracey began to drift off into an exhausted slumber, a deafening "SNORRXXX" pierced the silence.

"Marill!" the frightened Pokémon squeaked as it dived under the blankets with its trainer.

"Oh no," Tracey mumbled as another "SNORRXXX" sent Venonat underneath the sheets to join Marill. "Venonat, can you give me a shot of your Sleep Powder?"


	4. Chapter 4

**__**

Today I actually got to see Professor Oak's balls.

"Morning, Tracey," mumbled a half-asleep Professor Oak as he came wandering into the kitchen the next morning and started brewing some tea.

Tracey cringed. He wasn't sure he was ever going to get used to the sight of his idol looking like a street bum first thing in the morning.

"Where are you going, Tracey?" Professor Oak asked as he started rummaging through the kitchen cabinets in search of breakfast.

"Well, I was going to get started on cleaning up after the Pokémon," Tracey said as he stood up and reached for the shovel that was standing in the corner of the kitchen.

"Not today, my boy," Professor Oak smiled as he reached into the refrigerator, located some of the leftover meat loaf that Delia had brought over for dinner the night before, and started munching on it. "Today, you get to let the Pokémon out of their Poké balls and feed them breakfast." 

Tracey, who was feeling a little nauseous at the sight of Professor Oak's breakfast, suddenly perked up. "Really?"

"Sure," Professor Oak said as he finished the rest of the meat loaf. "Then when you're through with feeding them all, you can clean up after them just like you did yesterday."

Tracey's optimistic smile faded. He had hoped that his promotion to feeder of the Pokémon had also now made him exempt from his pooper-scooper duties.

"Why don't we go to the Poké ball storage area?" Professor Oak said as he poured himself a cup of tea and motioned for Tracey to follow him down the hall.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe how incredible your balls are!" Tracey exclaimed as he saw the shelves filled with hundred of gleaming red and white balls that lined the walls of the Poké ball storage room. 

Tracey then turned bright red when he saw that Professor Oak was staring at him with an odd look on his face. "Uh…what I meant to say was that your balls are so neat." 

Professor Oak's eyebrows arched even higher. 

"Oh no! I didn't mean that, Professor," an embarrassed Tracey hastily corrected himself. "What I meant was that you obviously know how to take care of your balls." Realizing that he had just made another slip of the tongue in his effort to correct himself, Tracey buried his burning face in his hands.

"Um, why don't I show you how to let all of the Pokémon out?" Professor Oak said as he moved towards the opposite wall. "All you have to do is pull this lever and it automatically releases all of the Pokémon outside," Professor Oak explained as he indicated a large lever on the wall. "Why don't you give it a try, Tracey?"

"You really mean it, Professor? I can pull your lever and release your balls?" Tracey said eagerly, then gasped when he realized what he had just said.

"Uh…I'm going to go back to the kitchen now, Tracey," a wide-eyed Professor Oak said as he slowly backed out of the room. "Be sure to let me know if you need any help." Professor Oak then fled down the hallway. 

---

Tracey's back was killing him two hours later from hauling around the heavy bags of Poké Chow, but at least things had gone better today than yesterday. The Pokémon seemed to be getting used to having him around and today one of the Growlithes at the Fire Pokémon preserve had actually licked his hand. 

"Whew," Tracey sighed as he flopped down on the grass. "Hauling around Poké Chow is hard work." 

A rumbling in the grass nearby brought Tracey to his feet. A huge black and white catlike Pokémon then stepped out of the nearby bushes.

"Hey, Snorlax, old buddy!" Tracey exclaimed at the sight of Ash's old Pokémon. The massive Pokémon spied Tracey and ran towards him with its arms outstretched. "I'm happy to see you again too, Snorlax!" Tracey opened his arms to return Snorlax's embrace, but the Pokémon pushed Tracey aside and began tearing into the bag of Poke Chow that Tracey had been sitting on. "Snorlax, no! That's for the other Pokémon!" Tracey tried to push Snorlax aside, but bounced off of the Pokémon's gigantic belly. 

"Snorlax," the Pokémon said happily as it proceeded to devour the entire contents of the bag. It then spied a carrot intended for a Ponyta hanging out of the pocket of Tracey's shorts. "Mmmmm!" it cried as it bent down and sank its teeth into the carrot, and, unfortunately, Tracey's behind.

"Yahhhhh!!!!" Tracey yelped as Snorlax took a bite out of his left buttock.


	5. Chapter 5

**__**

At least I finally got to help Professor Oak with his research, though not exactly in the way I thought.

"I'm sorry, Tracey. I should've warned you about Snorlax, but I thought you already knew him from your travels," Professor Oak said as he located a bottle of antiseptic in the cabinet under the Pokémon examination table. "Now this may sting a little," he warned as he poured some antiseptic onto some gauze and then applied the gauze to the wound on Tracey's posterior.

"OWWWWW!" Tracey screamed in pain. "I think that was worse than Snorlax biting me!"

"I have an idea, Tracey," Professor Oak said as he applied a bandage to Tracey's wound. "Since you're through feeding and cleaning up after the Pokémon, why don't you stay inside today and help me with my research?"

At this proposition, Tracey eagerly hopped off of the examination table. "You…you really mean it, Professor? I actually get to help you with your research?" he squealed excitedly.

"Well of course, my boy," Professor Oak chuckled as he put away his medical supplies. "After all, I did hire you as my research assistant, didn't I?" He handed Tracey a lab coat. "You might want to wear this to cover the hole in your pants."

__

Oh my God, I'm wearing a lab coat that Professor Oak once wore, Tracey though giddily as he slipped it on. Even though it was a bit big for him, just the thought of wearing a lab coat that had once been used by Professor Oak made Tracey a bit lightheaded.

"So what kind of research are you working on, Professor? I've read all your research papers and publications! Are you working on your study on the communication methods used by bird-type Pokémon such as Pidgey and Spearow? Or are you working on your collaboration with Professor Ivy on the climatological variation in fur thickness and coloration of Arcanines? Or is it the study of muscle strength in Primeapes? Is it the study on…"

"Tracey…Tracey, calm down, please," pleaded Professor Oak -- the eager young man was literally in his face. "It's none of those studies, although I'm pleased that you're so familiar with my work." Professor Oak backed off and motioned for Tracey to follow him into the laboratory. "No, the study that I'm working on now is on the effects of Sleep Powder on various types of Pokémon. Tracey, have you ever noticed that certain Pokémon seem to be resistant to the effects of Sleep Powder?"

"Sure, Professor Oak," Tracey replied as he followed at his boss's heels. "Some bug-type Pokémon and grass-type Pokémon are resistant to Sleep Powder."

"That's right, Tracey," Professor Oak said as he whistled and a Zubat came fluttering down from the ceiling. "But have you ever wondered why?"

Tracey thought for a second. "Well, no," he replied, somewhat embarrassed at not having thought about the subject before.

"Well, I've made a rather exciting discovery," Professor Oak said as he placed the Zubat on a nearby lab bench. "It turns out that Pokémon that are resistant to Sleep Powder have a high level of a protein called antisomnolescin in their blood. And what's even more exciting is that I'm discovering that certain individuals of other types are also resistant to Sleep Powder. And they're not just bug or grass-types, either. Take this flying-type Zubat, for example." Professor Oak produced a vial of sparkling pink powder, shook out a tiny amount, and blew it into Zubat's face. The Pokémon blinked for a moment and then flew back up to the ceiling. "See? No effect at all."

"Wow, that's amazing, Professor!" Tracey said in astonishment. "Do all Zubats have a high level of antisol…antisolemenetic…anti…whatever you called it?"

"No, just that one," Professor Oak smiled. "Take a look at the analysis of the blood sample I took from Zubat earlier." He handed Tracey a computerized readout. "See? High levels of antisomnolescin. Just like in the bug and grass-types."

"Do people have antisomnolescin in their blood, too?" asked Tracey as he studied the readout.

"You know, Tracey, that's a very good question. I don't recall ever seeing in any of the papers that I read to get some background information on this project indicated so. You know, you already have the right instincts to be an excellent researcher with questions like that."

__

Oh my God, Professor Oak thinks that I can be a researcher just like him! Tracey was so ecstatic at this compliment from his mentor that he didn't notice that Professor Oak was busy rolling up the arm of his lab coat and was tying a tourniquet on.

"Uh, Professor…what are you doing?" Tracey asked curiously when he noticed that Professor Oak was putting on a pair of rubber examination gloves.

"Since you raised an interesting question, let's find out if your hypothesis is correct," Professor Oak replied with a grin as he located a syringe. "Bet you didn't think that you were actually going to be part of one of my research projects, did you?"

"Uh, Professor…what are you going to do with that syringe?" Tracey asked anxiously. 

"In order to prove your hypothesis, we'll need a blood sample from a human," Professor Oak told him as he began swabbing Tracey's arm with alcohol.

"Uh, Professor…I'm not so sure about this," Tracey gulped. "I mean, I'm not exactly a Pokémon."

"Don't worry about a thing, Tracey," Professor Oak reassured him as he began waving the needle in his assistant's face. "I've drawn blood from hundreds of Pokémon as part of my research. A human shouldn't be any different."

"Yes, but…Wait, I just remembered! I already know that Sleep Powder knocks me out." (If it hadn't been for Venonat the night before, Tracey wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all.) "So I guess that means that I don't have any antisomnol…whatever it was you called it," Tracey said as he tried to pull his arm out of Professor Oak's grip. "So I guess that means that you don't have to take a blood sample from me now."

Professor Oak, still keeping a firm grip on his assistant's arm, thought about this for a moment. "But Tracey, how do you know that the reason Sleep Powder works on you is because you don't have any antisomnolescin? Could it be possible that you _do_ have antisomnolescin in your blood, but in amounts that aren't high enough to protect you from the effects of Sleep Powder?" 

Tracey gulped -- he didn't have an answer for his mentor's counter argument. 

"Besides," Professor Oak chuckled as he positioned the needle over Tracey's arm, "Now you've got me curious -- I'm dying to see if your hypothesis is correct. And there's only one way to find out, isn't there? Now make a fist for me so I can find your vein."

Tracey, who was frantically trying to think of a reason to avoid being stuck with a needle, realized that unless he did something drastic like pass out, he wasn't going to be able to avoid becoming Professor Oak's latest test subject. "Professor…I'm not…" 

"Now Tracey, you did say that you wanted to be my research assistant, didn't you?"

"Yes," Tracey squeaked nervously.

"Well, then, by doing this, you're helping me with my research. But if you'd rather not…"

Tracey gulped. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint Professor Oak, even if it meant getting stuck with a needle.

"Go ahead, Professor," Tracey said as he closed his eyes and braced himself.

Tracey winced as the needle went in and missed his vein entirely. 

"Oops, sorry about that, Tracey," Professor Oak apologized as he started digging around with the needle. "I thought I'd be easier to hit a vein on a person than a Pokémon, but for some reason, yours are buried pretty deep. Almost as bad as a Snorlax's," he muttered as he searched for Tracey's elusive vein.

Tracey, tears welling in his eyes, bit his lip as Professor Oak continued to dig around with the needle.

"Got it!" he cried triumphantly as blood began to fill the syringe. "There, now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Professor Oak said cheerfully as he removed the needle from Tracey's arm. "You're a better patient than most of my Pokémon ones."

Tracey said nothing – he was trying hard not to cry from the pain of having his vein dissected by Professor Oak's efforts to draw blood from it.

"Now I'll go analyze this," Professor Oak said as he headed for the opposite section of the lab. "And later, we can continue our research."

Delia came wandering into the lab just as Professor Oak was applying a bandage to Tracey's bruised arm.

"Tracey? What happened?" she exclaimed.

"Oh, Tracey was helping me with one of my research projects," Professor Oak smiled at her. "He's an excellent assistant – one of the best I've ever had."

Tracey smiled wanly in her direction. At least it had been worth it just for the compliment from Professor Oak.

"I've brought you gentlemen some lunch," Delia smiled as she handed Tracey a sandwich. 

"Gee, thanks, Mrs. Ketchum," Tracey said as he took a bite. "Mmmm, chicken salad."

"Tracey, why don't you go take an hour for lunch?" Professor Oak suggested as he smiled at Delia, who smiled back invitingly.

"Don't you want me to help you some more with your research, Professor?" Tracey asked.

"No, no…that's all right. We're done for right now. Matter of fact," he said as gathered up the bag of sandwiches and handed it to his aide, "why don't you go eat outside since it's such a nice day? Take as long as you like. And don't be in any hurry."

"Are you sure, Professor?" Tracey asked again. "Are you sure there isn't anything you want me to help you with?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Tracey," Professor Oak insisted as he eyed Delia appreciatively. "Enjoy yourself."

"Well, okay," Tracey said as he headed outside. 

---

"What do you think, Marill?" Tracey asked his Pokémon as he handed it a bite of cheese sandwich.

"Marill!" the blue mouse Pokémon squeaked happily.

"Mrs. Ketchum sure is a good cook," Tracey said as he finished his third sandwich and then handed one each to Venonat and Scyther. "I hope she brings us dinner tonight, too." Tracey looked in the bag and found one sandwich left. He then realized that Professor Oak hadn't had one. 

"Oh man, the Professor's gonna be upset if he doesn't have any lunch," Tracey said as he jumped to his feet and headed back to the lab. 

Once inside the house, Tracey went into the lab, but Professor Oak was nowhere to be found. He then heard voices coming from the living room. 

"So, Professor," Delia's voice echoed from the parlor. "What kind of research are you conducting today?"

"It's a personal study," replied Professor Oak. "A private one involving two people."

__

I didn't know Mrs. Ketchum helped Professor Oak with his research, thought Tracey as he stood in the hallway listening to their conversation.

"So where shall we begin?" Delia continued.

"Why don't we get started on the couch?" suggested Professor Oak. 

"Professor, I thought you did all your research in the lab," Tracey said as he came into the room.

Startled, Professor Oak (who appeared to be in the middle of unbuttoning Delia's sweater) and his companion whirled around.

"Uh, I thought I told you to have lunch outside, Tracey," Professor Oak said as he quickly removed his hands from Delia's body.

"I wanted to make sure you had a sandwich, too," Tracey said as he handed the bag to his somewhat irritated-looking boss. 

"Thanks, Tracey," grumbled Professor Oak as he took the bag from his assistant.

"What kind of research are you doing?" Tracey asked. "Can I help?"

"Uh…it's a study about bonding…and relationships," Professor Oak answered with a nervous glance in Delia's direction.

"You mean like your research into the human-Pokémon bond? I know that's your primary field of interest," Tracey said eagerly as he plopped down on the couch between Professor Oak and Delia. "What can I do to help you out? What should I do first?"

Professor Oak, who was on the verge of telling his assistant to go away, opened his mouth, but Delia spoke first.

"Well, I guess I'd better get back to the house," Delia said as she stood up. 

"Delia, you don't have to…" Professor Oak stammered.

"I think we'll have to continue our research some other time," Delia said as she looked at Tracey. "I'll see you both later."

Professor Oak sadly watched Delia go, then turned to his assistant, who was looking at him with eager puppy-dog eyes. 

"Tracey, I have a great idea," Professor Oak said as he reached inside the bag for the last remaining sandwich. "Why don't you go clean up after Snorlax? After eating a whole bag of Poké Chow, there ought to be plenty for you to clean up outside."

****


	6. Chapter 6

**__**

Today I learned why Mrs. Ketchum spends so much time coming by the lab.

The next day, Tracey was going about his routine of feeding and cleaning up after the Pokémon when he spotted Mrs. Ketchum heading up the hill to the lab.

__

Wonder if she's bringing lunch with her, Tracey thought eagerly as he put down his shovel and looked at his watch. _But it's only ten o'clock. Lunch isn't for another two hours._

Tracey continued with his chores for another half-hour, then realized that Mrs. Ketchum still hadn't left the lab yet. She usually spent only a few minutes dropping off food.

__

Maybe she's continuing her research from the other day with the Professor, Tracey thought as he headed up the hill to the lab.

As Tracey entered the lab, he heard what sounded like music coming from the living room.

__

That's strange, Tracey thought as he headed down the hall. _Wonder what's going on?_

"And now let's have a look at what's under your shirt," said Professor Oak.

__

Oh, he's giving Mrs. Ketchum another physical, Tracey realized as he turned to head back outside. Then a satisfied moan made him whirl around in surprise. Curious, Tracey peeked in the doorway and found Professor Oak and Delia entwined on the couch.

"Mmmm, you are a naughty professor!" Delia purred as Professor Oak reached underneath her shirt.

"Why don't we continue our private research upstairs?" 

Professor Oak grinned as his hand moved further upward inside her shirt. "In a moment. I haven't finished studying these yet."

A horrified Tracey, realizing that he had just walked in on his boss and his best friend's mother making out, quickly ran upstairs.

"Muk!" said the huge sludge Pokémon as it greeted Tracey at the top of the stairs.

"Muk, no! I don't want to play right now," Tracey whispered frantically as he tried to avoid Muk's embrace.

"Samuel? What's that noise?" Delia asked as she raised her head.

"Don't worry about that," Professor Oak mumbled as he started to unhook her bra. "It's just one of the Pokémon."

"Muk, no! Get away from me!" Too late. Muk threw its huge body against Tracey in a loving embrace and the two tumbled downstairs.

"What on earth…?" Professor Oak exclaimed as he heard the commotion in the hallway. He then saw what looked like a mound of sludge with human arms and legs bounce down the stairs and land in the middle of the foyer.

Tracey lay groaning on the floor for a few moments until the stars dancing in front of his eyes disappeared. When his vision cleared, he saw an angry-looking Professor Oak glaring down at him. Delia, who was busy pulling her shirt back down, was standing behind him. 

"Tracey!" Delia exclaimed. "Are you all right?"

"Muk broke my fall," Tracey groaned as the unhurt sludge Pokémon began kissing him.


	7. Chapter 7

**** __

After Professor Oak gave me a lecture on what two consenting adults do in private is their own business, he then made me spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning the stairs…and the rest of the house.

"I finished cleaning out the garbage cans," Tracey announced wearily as he finished his afternoon's chores.

"Did you finish scrubbing the bathrooms?" asked Professor Oak, not bothering to look up from his microscope.

"Yes," Tracey replied as he threw his scrubbing brush down on the table.

Professor Oak looked up at his assistant. At the sight of the boy covered in garbage, his anger abated a little. "Sit down, Tracey."

_Oh no, he's going to fire me,_ Tracey thought frantically. 

"Please, Professor Oak! Please don't fire me! I didn't know that you and Mrs. Ketchum were making out in the living room! Honest! I'm sorry!"

"Tracey, let go of my legs!" Professor Oak said as he tried to pry the clinging Tracey off of them. "And calm down. I'm not going to fire you."

"You…you're not?" Tracey said, surprised.

"No, I'm not," Professor Oak smiled slightly. "What I wanted you to see was this." He handed Tracey a computer printout. 

"What's this?" Tracey asked curiously.

"It's the analysis of your blood sample. Your hypothesis was correct. Apparently humans --or at least you do-- have some antisomnolescin in their blood, although in your case it's not enough to counteract the effects of Sleep Powder. Congratulations on your discovery, my boy."

Tracey looked up from the printout and saw that Professor Oak was smiling at him. "Like I said before, you definitely have the potential for research. Now let's go get some dinner."

"Will Mrs. Ketchum be bringing over anymore food tonight?" Tracey asked hopefully.

"No," Professor Oak replied. "I think after what happened this afternoon, she's a little reluctant to come back over here for a while."

"Oh," said Tracey, disappointed at having his dreams of a delicious home-cooked dinner crushed. "In that case, I'm going to turn in early. I'm kind of worn out after the last couple of days."

"Good night, then, Tracey," Professor Oak said as his weary assistant started heading upstairs. "And if you need me, I'll be over at Mrs. Ketchum's tonight. And even though I'll have my pager with me, don't call me unless it's an emergency…understand?"

Tracey gulped at the expression on his boss's face. "Yes, sir."

"Good. I'll see you in the morning, Tracey," Professor Oak said as he headed out the door.

--- 

Tracey lay on his bed, thinking about everything that had happened that day. 

The discovery that his boss and Mrs. Ketchum were more than just neighbors had been a real shock. Tracey was even surprised to find that he was actually a little bit jealous of all the time his boss was spending with her. He had figured that a great scientist like Professor Oak spent all his time doing research and writing papers.

"Guess that's pretty unrealistic, huh?" Tracey asked Venonat as he scratched his Pokemon's head. 

But then again, Tracey was beginning to realize that the preconceived image he had of his idol had been pretty unrealistic to begin with. Especially after seeing what Professor Oak looked like first thing in the morning.

__

How does Mrs. Ketchum stand having to look at him first thing in the morning when they're in bed together? Tracey wondered. Then the thought of Mrs. Ketchum and Professor Oak in bed together doing what they were doing on the couch earlier made Tracey shudder. Feeling a bit ill, Tracey got up and opened his window – he needed some fresh air. As he looked out the window, he saw the sun setting behind the little white house at the bottom of the hill.

__

I wonder what they're doing now? Tracey thought as he took a deep breath of the evening air.

--- 

"Delicious as always, Delia," Professor Oak said as he finished his last bite of pot roast. 

"Be sure to take this back to Tracey when you go home," Delia said as she handed him a foil-wrapped plate containing some extra pot roast. "I worry that he's not getting enough to eat with your cooking. Was he too upset about seeing us together this afternoon?" Delia asked as she started to remove the dirty dishes from the kitchen table. 

"He'll get over it," Professor Oak replied as he put the plate on the countertop and began helping Delia with the dishes. "Since he's going to be living in my house as my assistant, then he'll have to get used to seeing us together."

"But I don't really like the idea of him seeing us doing…well, what we were doing this afternoon."

"That's why I came over here tonight," Samuel said as he put the last of the dishes in the sink and took Delia in his arms. "So we can have some privacy."

Delia smiled seductively. "I think it's time for dessert. I'll be right back."

--- 

As Tracey gazed out the window, he heard what sounded like a creature moaning.

"Wonder what that is?" he thought as he leaned further out the window to see who or what was making that sound. He looked down and saw Snorlax, holding its belly.

"Snorlax," the Pokémon said uncomfortably as it rubbed its tummy.

Tracey hurried downstairs to where the Pokémon was sitting under a tree in the backyard.

"Are you hungry, Snorlax?" Tracey asked, making sure that he had plenty of Poké Chow (and no carrots) on hand.

Snorlax shook its head and continued to clutch its belly.

"What's the matter, Snorlax? Are you not feeling well?" Tracey asked sympathetically. 

Snorlax nodded and moaned in discomfort. 

"Maybe I ought to go get the Professor," Tracey said. But then he recalled his boss's warning from earlier and momentarily rethought his decision. He didn't think Professor Oak would be too happy about leaving Mrs. Ketchum for a Pokémon with a tummy ache.

Just then, Snorlax retched and proceeded to vomit on Tracey's feet.

"Ewww, Snorlax!" Tracey said as he quickly jumped out of the way of the flying Snorlax vomit. When Snorlax had finished throwing up, the pile of vomit was almost as big as Tracey. The exhausted Pokémon then collapsed on the ground.

"Do you feel better now, Snorlax?" Tracey asked the ill Pokémon.

Snorlax shook its head.

"Guess I'd better clean this up," Tracey said as he looked at the mountain of vomit. He didn't think his boss would be too happy to find a pile of Snorlax puke blocking the back door when he returned from the Ketchum house. As Tracey went off in search of a shovel, a white mass in the huge mound of vomit caught his eye. Tracey gingerly picked the mysterious item out of the pinkish-green muck and gasped when he realized what it was.

"Snorlax, did you eat Professor Oak's underwear?" Tracey asked as he unwadded the white mass of cloth.

Snorlax nodded and groaned again.

"Snorlax, why did you do that?" said Tracey incredulously.

The giant Pokémon pointed to the large red polka dots on the bedraggled boxer shorts, then pointed to the Pokéberry tree next to the clothes line.

"Oh no, you thought that the dots on these looked like Pokéberries, didn't you?"

Snorlax nodded, clutched its tummy, and groaned again.

__

Oh man, what should I do? thought Tracey as Snorlax started whimpering. 

--- 

"Are you ready for dessert?" Delia called from the hallway. Samuel, who had just finished washing the dishes, turned around and saw Delia standing in the doorway wearing a sexy red negligee. He dropped the dish he was holding, breaking it in several pieces. 

"Oh no! My plate!" Delia exclaimed as she bent down and started picking up the pieces off of the floor.

"Forget about that right now, Delia," Samuel said as he helped her up and wrapped his arms around her. "Right now, I'm pretty hungry," he said as he kissed her passionately.

As they kissed, something began to vibrate against Delia's leg. "Samuel?"

"Hmmm?" he said as he began to slide one of the nightgown's straps off of her shoulder.

"Since when have you been using a vibrator?"

"Vibrator? What are you…?" He looked down. "It's my pager." He swore as he read the message displayed on it. "Tracey. I told him not to disturb me unless it was an emergency." Cursing under his breath at his latest attempt to make love to Delia having been interrupted, he stomped over to the telephone and dialed the number. 

"Hello?" replied the voice on the other end of the line.

"Tracey, for your sake this had better be an emergency."

"Oh, Professor, I'm so sorry to bother you, but Snorlax is sick."

"What's wrong?" Delia asked.

"Sick Pokémon," Professor Oak whispered to her, then turned his attention back to his assistant. "What's wrong with Snorlax?"

"Do you remember this afternoon when you hung the laundry outside?"

"Laundry? What does that have to do with Snorlax being sick?"

"Snorlax thought the polka dots on your underwear looked like Pokéberries, so he…he ate your underwear."

"Ate my…? Tracey, if this is some sort of a joke…"

"No, Professor, it's not, honest! Listen for yourself." Tracey held the phone out the window so Professor Oak could hear the Pokémon's plaintive moaning. 

At the sound of Snorlax's crying, Professor Oak's annoyance with his young assistant immediately disappeared. "Tracey, I'll be back at the lab in a few minutes. In the meantime, let me tell you how to help Snorlax. First, you're going to have to make him vomit."

Tracey looked down at the trail of vomit he had tracked into the lab. "That's already been taken care of, Professor."

"All right then, just try to keep him warm and comfortable until I get there."

"I've already taken care of that too, Professor. I covered him with every blanket I could find, including the ones off of my bed."

Professor Oak was surprised at his aide's initiative. "How did you know to do that, Tracey?"

"I remembered reading a journal article you did about eating disorders in Snorlaxes. One of the sections was how to treat Snorlaxes that have eaten strange items. I was going to give him some stomach elixir to soothe his tummy, but I wanted to check with you first."

"Very good, Tracey. I'm impressed. Anyway, hang on. I'll be right there." Professor Oak hung up the phone and looked at the nightgown-clad Delia regretfully. "Sorry, Delia, but I have to go. Snorlax is ill."

"Oh no. What's wrong with Snorlax?"

"Let's just say that he brought a new meaning to the phrase 'eat my shorts'."

--- 

Tracey watched anxiously as his boss examined the ill Snorlax. "Professor, is Snorlax going to be all right?"

"He's going to be just fine, Tracey. Thanks to you," Professor Oak replied as he gave Snorlax a bottle of stomach elixir, which the Pokémon began to slurp noisily. "But be sure to give him nothing but clear fluids tomorrow."

Snorlax made a sad little sound at the thought of having no solid food the next day. 

"Sorry, Snorlax, but that's what you get for being too greedy," Professor Oak scolded good-naturedly as he rubbed the Pokémon's belly. "Anyway, you're going to be all right now."

Just then, Delia (who was now fully dressed) came up the hill. "Is Snorlax okay? I was worried when you left so quickly."

"He's going to be just fine," Professor Oak smiled at her. "Thanks to my new assistant. If it hadn't been for him, Snorlax might not be here right now."

"Oh, Tracey, that's wonderful!" Delia gushed as she kissed the young man on the cheek. 

"Gee, thanks, Mrs. Ketchum!" a surprised Tracey said as he began to blush.

"And because you're a hero for saving Snorlax, I'm going to go home right now and bake you a cake!"

"But…but Delia…" Professor Oak stammered as Delia waved and disappeared down the hill.

"Gee, that'll be great," Tracey said as he grabbed a shovel and began to clean up the giant vomit pile next to the now-snoozing Snorlax. "I didn't have dessert tonight."

"Neither did I," sighed Professor Oak as he picked up another shovel.


	8. Chapter 8

**__**

Today I discovered one of the fringe benefits of working with Professor Oak.

The next morning held promise of being better than the previous one. For the first time since his arrival, Professor Oak didn't snore, resulting in the best sleep Tracey had had in days. And since Dodrio had discovered the new female Dodrio Professor Westwood had sent over, the bird Pokémon's sunrise serenades had now ceased. A refreshed Tracey woke up to the delightful smell of apple cinnamon muffins and followed his nose downstairs to the kitchen where he found Mrs. Ketchum in the middle of making breakfast.

"Hi, Mrs. Ketchum," Tracey said as he sat down at the kitchen table. "What are you doing here?"

"Good morning, Tracey," Delia smiled as she placed a plateful of scrambled eggs in front of him. "The muffins will be done in a few minutes."

"I didn't hear you come in this morning," Tracey said as he wolfed down the eggs.

Delia's face reddened. "Uh…would you like some orange juice, Tracey?" 

"Thanks. And thanks for bringing over the cake last night too. It was great," Tracey told her as she handed him a glass of orange juice. 

"Good morning, Tracey," his bedraggled boss greeted him as he came into the kitchen and began whistling a little tune.

"You're pretty happy this morning, Professor," Tracey said as Delia handed the groggy Professor Oak a cup of hot tea.

Professor Oak said nothing, but smiled in Delia's direction.

Tracey then figured out why his boss was so cheerful and why he hadn't heard Mrs. Ketchum come in the back door that morning.

"Tracey, since you did such a fine job taking care of Snorlax yesterday, you can take the rest of the day off as soon as you finish feeding everyone," Professor Oak announced as he sipped his tea. "Which reminds me…I'm going to go check on Snorlax right now." 

As Tracey watched his disheveled boss head outside, he turned to the woman who was responsible for Professor Oak's good mood. "I don't think I'm ever going to get used to seeing him like that first thing in the morning."

"I still can't," Delia replied. "I keep telling him that he's going to scare the Pokémon to death one of these days."

---

Tracey went about his morning chores with renewed vigor. If having Mrs. Ketchum around meant that his boss wouldn't snore, Tracey was all in favor of her and Professor Oak spending their nights together. 

Just as Tracey was getting ready to go catch the afternoon show at Mimic Mansion, there was a knock on his bedroom door.

"Oh good, you're still here," Professor Oak replied as Tracey opened the door. "Could you come downstairs for a minute? There's someone here I'd like for you to meet."

Tracey followed his boss downstairs to the living room and saw a pretty brunette girl a few years older than him sitting on the couch.

"Tracey, this is my granddaughter, May Oak. She'll be spending part of her spring break here with us."

"Grandpa, you told me your new assistant was smart, but you didn't tell me he was cute, too," May smiled flirtatiously as she stood up and held out her hand. Tracey started blushing as he took her hand in his and shook it.

A loud munching noise outside the window made Professor Oak whirl around. "Darn it, I told Muk to stay out of my flowers!"

As Professor Oak hurried outside, May smiled prettily at Tracey. 

"Grandpa tells me that you're an artist. Do you sketch people as well as Pokémon? I'd love to have someone sketch my portrait."

"Uh…uh…sure," Tracey stammered eagerly.

"Oh, good!" May squealed excitedly. "I'll go upstairs and put on my bikini and then you can sketch a picture of me while I sunbathe!"

Tracey watched her go upstairs and then smiled to himself. Mimic Mansion could wait.

THE END


End file.
